When it comes right down to it, finding a new job is a lot like dating. You take a look where you are at, try to narrow down what you are looking for and then you see what is available and try to find someone that is a good fit for you. If you are lucky and have a clear goal in mind, given enough time, you will be able to find someone that you love, with whom it doesn't feel like work and who is able to help you achieve you goals both now and in the future.
Like dating, you never want to come across as desperate. When you appear to have low standards and are looking for whatever you can get, it isn't very attractive. The last thing you would want to do is make the person you are interested in think that you would go out with just anyone. Instead, you want to be confident and show them that you are interested in getting to know them and find out if they would be a good fit for you, and vice versa. You wouldn't want them to think that you would be willing to commit to a relationship without having gotten to know them better. It is all part of trying to be perceived as desirable.
Likewise, each company wants to hire people who genuinely want to work for them. They want people who have done some research into their company and honestly believe that they would be a good fit for the job. There are times, however, when it is really hard not to look desperate. When you have been out of work for a prolonged period and really, really want the job, you have to stop looking at it as a life-or-death situation. Instead, think of it as dating. No matter how much you liked the person and really want to go out with them again, you play it cool and see how it unfolds.
Here are some ways to not be desperate:
- Keep your options open – Just like you wouldn't want to date someone who has no one else interested in them, don't focus too hard on one job. This can be a challenge when you really want that particular job. Even if you are positive that the job is the right one for you, keep looking. By focusing on several options, it takes the mental and emotional pressure off of the one you want and prevents you from behaving in a way that looks desperate to an employer. If you don't think that you have other options, and find that you are over focusing on one job opportunity, write down all of the other options you have if this job doesn't come through. Maybe you could start your own business or work for a competitor. Just remind yourself that you aren't desperate.
- Think about other times you have succeeded – What did it take to succeed in those instances? What lessons did you learn? Remind yourself of why you are who you are. Even if your self-esteem has taken a hit lately, refresh your memory and think about how amazing you are. This will not only boost your confidence but can also give you some things to highlight when you are on your next interview.
- Try to relax – Job hunting is stressful, and interviews can be even worse. But, no one likes to see someone who is clearly buckling under the stress. Do whatever it takes to calm down and find a relaxing state of mind. When you are relaxed, you can better let your true self shine through and give the interviewer a chance to see who your are and genuinely like you. When you are weighed down by nerves and stress, no one can really get to know the real you, they are just meeting your stress zombie.
- Be fun – Interviewers, dates, heck – all of us judge people based on their likeability. So, be a fun person to be around. This doesn't mean trying to be someone that you aren't, but rather, just be the best, most relaxed version of yourself that you can be. Don't look at an interview as a make-or-break moment in your career. Look at it as meeting a new network contact and finding out more information about a job opening. When you put yourself in this state of mind, it is easier to find out if the job is a good fit for you and talk about the possibility of taking the relationship to the next level.
No matter how badly you may want a particular job, it is no excuse to be desperate. Life will still go on if you don't get that particular job. Keep in mind that you have power in this situation as well. You don't have to take the job they are offering. You could walk away if it isn't right for you. You have other options. You have been successful before, and you will be again. It just might take a little more time.
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By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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