Seven Things You Shouldn't Tell a Supervisor

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We live in an extremely connected, social world. With the increased use of social media sites like Facebook and LinkedIn and mobile apps that allow you to let you check in and update everyone with your whereabouts, it's hard to keep your personal life to yourself. Whether you're looking for a job or currently employed, maintaining separation between your work life and the rest of your life is so important. These days, hiring managers and even bosses don't think twice about doing a web search on applicants and employees. Once they have access to all of your Facebook photos and status updates, they will judge you based on the information they find. Many people seem to be in a sort of denial about how much they share and what kind of impact it makes. For example, if you post photos from your niece's birthday party and in the background of the shot there are adults holding red Silo cups, your boss might assume that you spend your weekends drinking with friends – even though the cups may have simply been filled with fruit punch.

 

While it's tempting to share bits and pieces of your life with your co-workers and even mention these things in front of your boss – just don't do it. You can't be sure that the information you so casually share won't be held against you and even cost you a job.

 

Here are seven things you shouldn't tell a supervisor or hiring manager:

 

Your religious affiliation: Whether you go to church regularly or you don't identify with any major religion, keep it out of the workplace. Of course, most of us know that it's considered bad manners to talk about religion at work. Even something as small as asking for donations for your church's community project or selling candy for the youth group is a no-no. No matter what your supervisor’s religious beliefs are, sharing yours can backfire horribly. If they don't share your beliefs, they could judge you negatively and if they do share them, they might judge you for any conduct that they don't think is appropriate. You can't win here, so keep your spiritual life out of the office.

 

Your living situation: Your boss, or potential boss, doesn't need to know anything about your living situation. They don't need to know that you still live with your parents, with roommates or that you're married and own a home. All they need to know is that you come to work when you're scheduled.

 

What you do after work: It doesn't matter if you enjoy partying with your friends on weekends or if your nights are filled with baths and bedtime stories – it's none of your boss's business. As much as possible, don't discuss what you do when you aren't at work. If they ask you to work extra hours or come in on a Saturday and you can't, all you have to say is that you have previous plans at home. There's no need to explain what the plans are or to justify why they are important.

 

Your political views or affiliations: Especially during heated elections, it's challenging to keep your political views to yourself. It's so easy to make small talk about political candidates, but remember that what feels like casual conversation can reveal a great deal about what political group you belong to. The same goes for discussions about political or world events. When these topics are brought up in conversation, it's best to make only brief, non-committal responses.

 

Your family's income: Your boss knows how much money you make at your job, but beyond that, they don't need to know how much money your spouse earns or about any other sources of income you might have. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you have investment income or a high earning spouse, your boss might assume that you don't need a raise or aren't interested in a promotion. In the worst case scenario, when making cutbacks, your supervisor might let you go first, thinking that you don't need the income as badly as another employee.

 

Any part-time jobs or freelance work: Many companies take a negative view of their employees moonlighting or doing freelance work. As long as it's not against your company's policy, you don't need to share this information with your supervisor. The only time it's appropriate to mention another job is to your part-time employer. You can let them know that you have a full-time job in order to share your scheduling needs, but otherwise, keep things separate.

 

Any previous or current mental health issues: This is a big one. Don't discuss any mental health problems that you have had in the past or that you're currently dealing with. If you need time off for therapy appointments or other treatment, simply say that you have a doctor's appointment. Even if you aren't seeking treatment, don't mention that you are going through a difficult time, like a stressful divorce. You don't want your boss to think that you aren't able to do your job or that your mental health issue will affect your work.

 

Keeping your personal life separate from your work life can be difficult. Just keep in mind that any information you share can be used against you. As a professional, it's best to leave your personal life at the door and keep your business relationships focused on work.

 

What other things do you think should be kept to yourself? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

 

Image Source: freedigitalphotos.net

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  • Angela M
    Angela M
    I completely agree.  The funny thing is, one of the partners in my firm has been trying for years to get personal information out of me and has recently resorted to having meetings with HR to figure out what to do about it.  I'm a star employee, but maybe she believes I'm just too good to be true!  If she only knew that my personal info really isn't that interesting.
  • Mariam F
    Mariam F
    Very insightful...i really would like to know if these guidelines are socially acceptable for all races, creeds, and religions?
  •  Mit S
    Mit S
    I fully agree. I still strongly believe that the professional and private lives should be kept separate. However, the current working mentality is such that the bosses expect to know everything including about the private life of their team members and if you follow your principles and don't share it you become the target of bullying, speaking of my own experiences. This was even used against me as a negative point in one of my performance reviews whereas it had nothing to do with my performance as I was a strong and solid performer.
  • MichaelP
    MichaelP
    Many supervisors are snakes in the grass. I mean they can't really be trusted and if the company is letting go of some people then the supervisors will use any information to put you in a bad light, so you can be cut or downsized out.
  • Mimi S
    Mimi S
    I suppose I have not violated these rules.  What I did submit, was a statement to my supervisor that, "I am no longer in love with my job."  Does that fit into any of the above 7 stated "things" I should not have said.  In other word, don't tell the truth, manipulate the system in order to keep a job you hate, and do what you are told (slave mentality).  Education has done great things for us, hasn't it!
  • Martin T
    Martin T
    I believe that the job we do shouldn't be a independent part of our lives. For an employee to be effective and efficient,  a balance in life should be at the center.  The reason why most of companies are not effective is because they hiring a banch of employees they're not interested in and don't care for. In return,  they attract the same energy from their employees namely carelessness and shallow commitment. When show genuine care for your employees,  your business becomes their own and not simply a place to spend 8hours a day to pay bills. Forthe same guy from whom I expect excellent performance at work, is a father whose child can be sick, whose sister or brother could have emergency and would affect their energy level for a while. Unfortunately those are internal things that you don't take out as you would a jacket the moment you swipe your card to enter your work place as many supervisors say. For me, not knowing my employees could cost more to the company than the other way. You definitely the success rate of the companies that genuinely treat their employees as real partners versus those majority that don't.
  • Anh-Tuyet D
    Anh-Tuyet D
    Those are what we should not discuss at work. Could you post something what is appropriate to talk about at work then?Thank you!
  • Tara f
    Tara f
    Very informative
  • Courtney K
    Courtney K
    Another good article.
  • Kimberly C
    Kimberly C
    First of all I will always speak of Jesus everywhere I go. So he want be ashamed of me before his father. Your views are your views .
  • Carlos A
    Carlos A
    How can you go around your supervisors about telling or finding out that I'm on parole,especially when not asked in the application.what should or shouldn'ti say or do ?
  • Shane M
    Shane M
    i totally agree....ive already made so many mistakes as a supervisor....let alone being a subordinate.......total separation from work and home is the only way to feel free of possible ridicule or interrogation
  • Bert V
    Bert V
    All is true. Been there and have seen it happen.
  • Steven W
    Steven W
    More difficult for younger employees with less job security, confidence and experience to hold a line of personal vs business need-to-know info.
  •  Aishah Y
    Aishah Y
    This article provides a lot of true information.  I once worked as a supervisor.  I worked closely with the management staff whom always had some gossip about their associate and the other employess.  The gossip was mostly about the personal lives they were told about in confindetiality.  I tried hard not to join in.  I think this is why I do not want to be in management anymore.  
  • Shabana S
    Shabana S
    This is sad. Such advice creates such a culture of fear and isolation in the workplace. I recommend that the person who wrote this article read "Bowling Alone" by Robert Putnam.
  • Linda O
    Linda O
    If Starbucks' CEO can state if you as a consumer or employee are not in support of same sex marriage then we don't want your money why do Christians have to hide their beliefs?
  •  Delores M
    Delores M
    Don't give your age even when asked; for example, many current recruiters ask the following questions:1.  Give age (month/date/year)2.  What year did you graduate from high school3.  Are you over 18, 30, 40, 50, 60 or moreMany companies just don't want to hire older workers and its a disaster out there for those of us who are older, very experienced and need to work, are professional, have had excellent careers, made good decisions and moved the company(ies) forward in their quality, performance, financial performance, etc., yet recruiters/companies want to mainly hire younger people and they can "easily screw up everything quickly since they aren't as experienced, knowledgeable of the industry, know how to be leaders and get the best results.....It's a shame.
  • Jessica J
    Jessica J
    This is so true world
  • Diana H
    Diana H
    Totally agree!!!!!
  • Julius N
    Julius N
    You are very correct.They may even give you a bad name to fire you.Thanks for this advise.
  • Linda S
    Linda S
    Interesting. Although companies cannot discriminate due to religious reasons. If you are a regular church attendee on Sunday mornings you need to provide proof of that with a letteer from your religious leader.  Also, folks who were terminated prior to getting their pensions should file a class action lawsuit (everyone gets with one particular lawyer and sues as a group) and the company should 'learn its lesson' not to do that anymore!
  • Nicole N
    Nicole N
    Thank you for the advice! As a know all of these things, I tend to do it anyway and I have resulted two job losses due to breaking these simple rules.
  • Flora L. B
    Flora L. B
    This is good info especiallywhen working with a lot ofjealous co-workers!
  • Pamela D
    Pamela D
    How about, if  they have, No information about  any issues  mentioned  because,  your  not  on detailed info with LinkedIn, not on FaceBook, don't use Twitter,or other communications; does this too play into the false assumptions these people derive about a person, when they see "Nothing"??This  article seems  to  imply these  days employers just want,  DRONES! NEW WORLD SADDNESS,but much is applicable and commonsense.
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