Seven Things You Shouldn't Tell a Supervisor

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We live in an extremely connected, social world. With the increased use of social media sites like Facebook and LinkedIn and mobile apps that allow you to let you check in and update everyone with your whereabouts, it's hard to keep your personal life to yourself. Whether you're looking for a job or currently employed, maintaining separation between your work life and the rest of your life is so important. These days, hiring managers and even bosses don't think twice about doing a web search on applicants and employees. Once they have access to all of your Facebook photos and status updates, they will judge you based on the information they find. Many people seem to be in a sort of denial about how much they share and what kind of impact it makes. For example, if you post photos from your niece's birthday party and in the background of the shot there are adults holding red Silo cups, your boss might assume that you spend your weekends drinking with friends – even though the cups may have simply been filled with fruit punch.

 

While it's tempting to share bits and pieces of your life with your co-workers and even mention these things in front of your boss – just don't do it. You can't be sure that the information you so casually share won't be held against you and even cost you a job.

 

Here are seven things you shouldn't tell a supervisor or hiring manager:

 

Your religious affiliation: Whether you go to church regularly or you don't identify with any major religion, keep it out of the workplace. Of course, most of us know that it's considered bad manners to talk about religion at work. Even something as small as asking for donations for your church's community project or selling candy for the youth group is a no-no. No matter what your supervisor’s religious beliefs are, sharing yours can backfire horribly. If they don't share your beliefs, they could judge you negatively and if they do share them, they might judge you for any conduct that they don't think is appropriate. You can't win here, so keep your spiritual life out of the office.

 

Your living situation: Your boss, or potential boss, doesn't need to know anything about your living situation. They don't need to know that you still live with your parents, with roommates or that you're married and own a home. All they need to know is that you come to work when you're scheduled.

 

What you do after work: It doesn't matter if you enjoy partying with your friends on weekends or if your nights are filled with baths and bedtime stories – it's none of your boss's business. As much as possible, don't discuss what you do when you aren't at work. If they ask you to work extra hours or come in on a Saturday and you can't, all you have to say is that you have previous plans at home. There's no need to explain what the plans are or to justify why they are important.

 

Your political views or affiliations: Especially during heated elections, it's challenging to keep your political views to yourself. It's so easy to make small talk about political candidates, but remember that what feels like casual conversation can reveal a great deal about what political group you belong to. The same goes for discussions about political or world events. When these topics are brought up in conversation, it's best to make only brief, non-committal responses.

 

Your family's income: Your boss knows how much money you make at your job, but beyond that, they don't need to know how much money your spouse earns or about any other sources of income you might have. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you have investment income or a high earning spouse, your boss might assume that you don't need a raise or aren't interested in a promotion. In the worst case scenario, when making cutbacks, your supervisor might let you go first, thinking that you don't need the income as badly as another employee.

 

Any part-time jobs or freelance work: Many companies take a negative view of their employees moonlighting or doing freelance work. As long as it's not against your company's policy, you don't need to share this information with your supervisor. The only time it's appropriate to mention another job is to your part-time employer. You can let them know that you have a full-time job in order to share your scheduling needs, but otherwise, keep things separate.

 

Any previous or current mental health issues: This is a big one. Don't discuss any mental health problems that you have had in the past or that you're currently dealing with. If you need time off for therapy appointments or other treatment, simply say that you have a doctor's appointment. Even if you aren't seeking treatment, don't mention that you are going through a difficult time, like a stressful divorce. You don't want your boss to think that you aren't able to do your job or that your mental health issue will affect your work.

 

Keeping your personal life separate from your work life can be difficult. Just keep in mind that any information you share can be used against you. As a professional, it's best to leave your personal life at the door and keep your business relationships focused on work.

 

What other things do you think should be kept to yourself? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

 

Image Source: freedigitalphotos.net

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  • Jill M
    Jill M
    Absolutely agree about the religious thing.  A woman I worked with was sending out blanket email "prayers" to everyone.  It did not go over well with her co-workers OR with the boss.  She was reprimanded.  So then she started reserving a conference room and inviting people to attend her prayer meetings at lunch.  She was eventually fired.  She just couldn't understand her religious views had no place in the office.
  • Lucilla n
    Lucilla n
    Good information.
  •  Karen M
    Karen M
    I think this is great advice & 100% true. I will follow this advice now & for the future. Thanks!!
  • Adrian V
    Adrian V
    Dont let employer know yourfiling bankruptcy!!!  I recentlytold supervisor I hadbankruptcy court on friday and I mite new a few minutes late this was on a tuesday I came into work on wednesday and was told I was not longer needed??
  • Frances R
    Frances R
    Good article....very helpful. Living situation should be made know in case of emergencies. Also, Don;t offer opions about subjects unless asked, then be very careful and stay middle of the road. Don't get on your "soapbox." Some supervisors take offense since they feel they know more than you because they are your supervisor. I once worked where personal opions were held against you.
  • Jeanie B
    Jeanie B
    Excellent advice, but sometimes hard to follow.  My personal experience also includes even if you found a co-worker who enjoys old tv shows younger co-workers can resent any discussion of them!
  • Joann s
    Joann s
    When employees ask for time off, they should not state they reason for the request.  They have personal time, vacation time, sick time.  They should not say where they are going, why they want personal time, why they are sick.  Only state I'm sick, I can't work today.  I would like vacation time for ...  Employees divulge too much information and some employers hold this against them.
  • Lori R
    Lori R
    That religious part is difficult if you are not Christian and need to take off for non-Christian holidays.
  •  Bill T
    Bill T
    How true. Especially at politically correct companies engaging in social engineering.  It's good to find an employer who shares your values so you can be yourself rather than a mainstream media clone. You still have to agree with the costomers though.
  • Harriet D. D
    Harriet D. D
    Very Important valid information.
  • Florence D
    Florence D
    Great feedback in separating work issues and personal lifestyle issues I am all for work ethics I am caution when coworkers come to work and discuss their weekend and home lifestyle at work
  • Gabriel M
    Gabriel M
    very true!!
  • George S
    George S
    I learned the hard way by making two of the "don't tell your boss about..."  Family income and political affiliations.  As my boss was a workplace bully, he made my life hell due to my political affiliation and coming from one of my area's "founding" families.
  • Kai W
    Kai W
    My company touts transparency and trust and then "fires" people for no reason so they don't have to pay your pension right before retirement. I don't know that it matters what you tell or don't tell...when your value "dead" exceeds your value "alive" to them, your number is up! After 27 years, just gone with no reason.
  • Ronald F
    Ronald F
    Personal life style or conduct off work is none of your employer's business until/unless it affects job performance or company or professional image.
  • Linda H
    Linda H
    This was a very interesting article, I feel that is was helpful.
  •  Leslie P
    Leslie P
    It is important to remain neutral in any and all controversial discussions and keep opinions to yourself. What you think and what you say are two different things. Resist the temptation to comment on statements made by others.
  • Artis H
    Artis H
    I figured I was right about these topics already. This article is dead on.
  • Kathrine J
    Kathrine J
    Great suggestions on every point. I would like to mention crying at work. We all have difficult times from time to time in our lives but coming to work and starting to cry is a huge no-no. You are sure to loose respect from some of your co-workers along with some of your supervisors or manager. Better to take the day off and regroup. I work in HR and have seen managers hold people back because they feel they can't handle stress very well.
  • Cindy B
    Cindy B
    While I agree that this is none of your employers business, they think they have to know if you will fit in with your co-workers. I have been to many interviews lately and have been told that they aren't looking for an employee, they are looking for a "family member". Unfortunately, I am not active in their religion, therefore I don't "fit in". Even though everyone knows this is discrimination, it is alive and well in the workplace.
  • Carol W
    Carol W
    While I agree about the majority of these, I think as long as you use discretion discussing your living situation and even religious affiliation you should be fine.  After all it is illegal to discriminate based on religious affiliations and sexual orientation, etc.  And it is also more than likely you will need to tell your boss about those anyway if you need to take time off to say take care of a family member or observe a particular religious holiday.  And if you are too vague about why you need time off your boss could assume things about you that are far worse than just telling them the truth.
  • Janeth M
    Janeth M
    Great tips
  • PEG B
    PEG B
    I feel that you should keep as much of your personal life out of the workplace as possible. It gives supervisory personnel information that could possibly hold you back and material for the gossipers that will slow down work flow and could damage your reputation. Your personal life does not need to be shared with everyone.
  • Mary L
    Mary L
    I agree with Jane D.  While this gives some good advice, we are not one-dimensional creatures.  Having been a supervisor/manager/boss for many years, personal information has frequently been shared with me. . . and vice versa.  What about the death of a parent, after a long illness? That information is necessary at times for time management and the stresses of life.
  • Lori M
    Lori M
    Excellent and very well-informed article. Although, one thing you left off, you might want to consider are offensive emails that even if they're meant as a joke, someone in the office might get offensive and not take it as a joke. Even if you are sharing them at lunchtime with your co-workers because the others in my boss's cubicle did the same.

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