So tell me about yourself. - STOP! It's A Trick Question!

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That’s a trick question! After reading this the 'Hiring Powers That Be' are going to revoke my membership and then cut me off from ever working in the Human Resources field again. OK that may be a bit dramatic but I am revealing one of a hiring manager’s secret weapons. The first question an interviewer most likely asks is "So tell me about yourself." It may sound harmless but watch out, this is where it can get you in deep trouble and cost you the job! Yes, before you have even discussed qualifications and background experience your answer to this question will either keep you in the running or boot you out before the interview is over. The question is designed to be a warm up. When you first greet someone for an interview they would like to get to know you, most likely so you'll warm up, feel more comfortable and at ease talking to them. But be careful because this question often entices people to share personal information. When I say personal information I’m not referring to your social security number and place of birth. I'm referring to you, what you do, who you are, where you go, your family, etc. When I have asked this question in interviews (Yes, I am guilty of being one of those people) I am surprised at the responses that I get. They are hardly ever professional and career focused. Normally a candidate will start off with well I was born in New York City in '74 went to school at Green Park Elementary, had two dogs, I love to play basketball and now I'm married and have two kids. Wrong answer. Sneaky recruiters will use this information against you. They know they can't come out and ask you about your age, religion, marital status, etc. And this is exceptionally tricky for STAY AT HOME MOMS!!! I warn you! USE DISCRETION. I once had an interviewer start of with the ‘So tell me’ question. Knowing what I know, I kept it strictly professional. I said I graduated from XYZ University with a Bachelors of Science in Communications and started my career in Recruiting with a National Staffing Agency, I progressed through the ranks, then moved on to a better opportunity with ABC Corp. I have been with them 6 years and am now seeking a more challenging role as the Human Resources Manager for LMN Inc. See how I kept it purely about my career progression? This is the proper way to answer the question. But the interviewer was not satisfied that I didn't come out and tell him about my personal life and later on in the interview he just came out and asked the illegal personal question. "I am sure you have a family and children don't you? Tell me about that." WHOA! Hello illegal question. I said, you'll have to pardon my response if it comes off negatively but actually I think you really need someone in this Human Resources position that is knowledgeable about current employment law because that is an illegal question and could really get you into a lot of trouble if you ask the wrong person. Thankfully he laughed it off and said "Oh, I didn't know that - it's a good thing you said something. We really do need someone that knows that information." The next day I had an offer on the table. And he never interviewed anyone again - phew, lawsuit averted. The reason why I mentioned previously this question is tricky for stay at home moms is because you get caught in the trap. When they say, so tell me about yourself you immediately want to say "Well, I have two kids and for the last 4 years I have been staying at home taking care of them." I hate to even say this but some employers will look down on this. They'll think oh she has kids and that may detract from her job duties and what about absences if her kids get sick? How much work will she have to miss? I am not saying every employer is like this by any means but there are some out there. Know what your rights are and what is and isn't OK for an interviewer to ask. And if someone says to you in an interview "So tell me about yourself" keep it professional and about your education and experience. Refrain from telling them your whole life story. Hopefully, this will help many of you make it to that next step in the interview process and one step closer to the job of your dreams.
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  • Casey
    Casey
    This is great info! I just had an interview Wednesday and was asked that EXACT question! I followed it with my professional experience and how I work myself up. I got the call yesterday that the job was mine. HA!
  • Donna York
    Donna York
    This article was helpful, along with postings from different people and their experiences.  I have fallen into this trap numerous times.  Now I know how to respond.  Thank you.
  • Ginny Turner
    Ginny Turner
    how does one answer the question "And why did you apply for a job at this company?"  I always think the smart mouthed answer, but wind up fumbling around with something like I have read about the company and the position looks very challenging, bla, bla, bla or something else that probably sounds really stupid.  please give me advice on this one.thanks-Ginny in Florida
  • Kathleen Jenks
    Kathleen Jenks
    Thank you, nice article and oh so true.  I have fallen many times for this question.  Definitely thought it to be an ice breaker.  Guess again, right?Thank you for the heads up.
  • gino
    gino
    yeah! interesting article.. thanks to this!i learned something.
  • Michael Lessard
    Michael Lessard
    Very good information. One has to be careful not to turn this situation and question into an adverse environment. Tact and proper use of communication can help ensure this.
  • Fran Lewis
    Fran Lewis
    I really appreciate the reminders. I actually had the President come in after answering my initial interview questions with the Vice-President to ask me whether I had kids and a husband. This was an international small firm  and the entire interview took place in a foreign language. However, the interview took place in the U.S. I tried to evade the question by stating I'm focused on my career. However,he wasn't satisfied until he heard either a 'yes' or 'no' to kids? boyfriend? husband? He eventually backed off after I insisted my interest in the position and on my career.
  • Anna Hladczuk
    Anna Hladczuk
    This is very valuable information,thanks for posting it.Yes,I admit that my response is usually telling the recruiter about my private life.Recently I become a widow,got laid of 4 months ago,I understand now this sentence should never be included or mentioned on interview,what is your opinion.  
  • Linda
    Linda
    Thanks so much for this article.  It is very helpful as I have an interview tomorrow, which is one of several I have had in the last few months.  In the past I have always had felt very confident in interviews and getting job offers has been the norm for me but this year has been so totally different. I know part of it is the fact that there is such a large pool of candidates. After reading this article I can see that I may have eliminated myself just by honestly answering questions that should not have been asked. I really see how the interviewers are very tricky in finding out your personal situation and from now on, I will always keep it professional. My other question is what do you say when asked, "why are you looking for a job?" I am employed in a position that I absolutely hate. In order to stay employed after downsizing, I took a tremendous cut in pay, went from salary to hourly and it is like a prison working in a call center.  I have never expressed my negative feelings and I try my best not to "project" in interviews.  Does anyone have any tips on how to really stay focused and "project" a positive attitude.  I am at a point where I would rather collect unemployment. Thanks very much.
  • Dangus McGee
    Dangus McGee
    Thanks for the advice.  If the interviewer continued to press about personal information, I'd politely tell them that asking for that type of info is not legal.  If they continued, I'd ask to end the interview and leave.  No job is worth that level of hassle, probably micro-manage you to death anyway.
  • James Buckland
    James Buckland
    Absolutely a phenom!!  Well written! Kudos!!
  • Mustapha
    Mustapha
    I now know why i have been failling interviews, it won't happen again.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
  • Sunp360
    Sunp360
    Wow, that's good info.  I never really knew what to say when a recruiter would ask me that question.  Now I know what to say, Thanks...
  • nitin date
    nitin date
    Attn. - Ms Marie Josephine WassonIt is nice to know that you are trying to utilise your time constructively and in a positive way. Hats off to your attitude. The problem you are facing is universal in nature.In all parts of the world,it is the same story.May i suggest that you may try to begin your 'work life' by doing work in a voluntary organisation / NGO  and after some time try to get a formal designation (Whatever they are willing to give;like-a team member/reach out coordinator/site assistant/associate etc.)Once you have a designation and a small monetary return attached , you will be better placed to  switch over into a commercial organisation. Regards and Best of luck .
  • Harmony Kuller
    Harmony Kuller
    To Kathleen,I am 5o years old and have been asked that same question before, many times! As I usually decide at that moment that I would NOT like to work for a company that would ask me such a question, I wonder what everyone thinks about this answer: I am old enough to (legally) work in the United States. Also, what do you do if you are handicapped as I am?Thanks A LOT for the information.Harmony
  • Shannon Ruble
    Shannon Ruble
    So what do you really say when an interviewer; for example, asks you if you're married and/or have kids?? I have a hard time at interviews anyway.
  • William
    William
    Wow.  I would take the question of "so, tell me about yourself..." as a complete insult.  So, you've had my resume for three weeks and you haven't bothered to even look at it?  Just confirmation of the widely-held belief by most of us in the value-creation chain of a company that HR is nothing more than a drag on ROE.  Thanks for everything, Federal Government!
  • Holly McIntyre
    Holly McIntyre
    After giving birth I tried to re-enter the work force in 6 months and was told by the recruiter sending me on interviews to not mention my child to this one employer interviewing me that day. He said this employer was burned by an employee calling out because of her kids. The employer tried so hard to get that info out of me and also included the comment, "We are about the same age right?" I refused to clearly respond to this question and he cancelled a second interview with me after telling the recruiter he liked me. I honestly think it was because he suspected I had children and wouldn't come clean. I felt so disgusted trying to evade a question about my daughter who is ultimately more important to me than any position.
  • Gwendolyn Davis
    Gwendolyn Davis
    This article was very interesting....It helps you to answer the question without giving outnon-job related information, i.e. number of children, age.....etc..
  • Marie-Josephine Wasson
    Marie-Josephine Wasson
    Thanks for the advice on what not to say, but what about people who have had breaks in working. I am a wife of a retired soldier and I worked at any position I could find. I finally, graduated from college about five years ago. I have not had any success for 3 years in finding work. I don't do well during interviews, because I have never been paid to manage people. I have only lead soldiers' wives voluntarily. I was a leader of Family Support Groups at the different Army posts my husband was assigned to. I started during Desert Storm while we were stationed in Germany and he had to be redeployed to Saudi Arabia. That was the beginning of the now FRGs, Family Readiness Groups. When I tell the interviewer about my experience as a leader, they look at me as if I am from another planet. I fear most of them regard this experience as being a leader of a group of soccer moms. I am embarrassed to admit I that I have been a stay at home mom and now a domestic engineer. I really do want to work, but my life experience and the ability to communicate with people on any level is not enough experience, so the young 20something who went to school and graduated with me now is worth more than I am. I do not begrudge them careers and more power to the youth, but I still have talent and productivity left to contribute and I wish employers would realize that old dogs can be taught new tricks after-all I went to school with the puppies. I don't know how to answer the question because I don't feel I have accomplished much. I hope someone can help me because I don't want to continue to be discouraged.
  • Gwendolyn Davis
    Gwendolyn Davis
    This article has really helpful hints about "what not to say" when the interviewer asks you "Tell me about yourself"
  • James Martin
    James Martin
    how do you handle this at an off site lunch with the interviewer?
  • Melissa
    Melissa
    A 60 year old male hiring manager did this to me on an interview with one of the Big 4.  He kept asking me to tell him about myself.  I kept all my questions professional in nature but he wouldn't give up.  He finally asked me what my hobbies were to get around it.  I told him martial arts, which I love, and thought would be a good response considering the discipline martial arts teaches you.  He kept going - now he wanted to know what level I was.  I wanted to tell this baboon it was none of his business but I needed the job so I said I had a black belt and was working on my second degree.  He seemed impressed.  I got the job, and not only did he continue to intrude in my personal life BUT HE WAS INTIMIDATED BY ME BECAUSE I STUDY MARTIAL ARTS!  Every chance he got he insisted on putting me down, remarking on how I was a female of small stature and therefore I must be a "target" for everyone and needed to be careful in parking lots, etc., where he, a 6'0" male would "never be a target."  Meanwhile this guy looked like he could barely walk - which would make him an easy mark.  Within a month I got fed up and I let him have it.  Yes, he was my boss but I had won the respect of several managers and directors who were over him and they came to my defense.  He was reprimanded and had to go to remedial management classes!  Unfortunately the department's senior staff seemed to like managers with poor managerial skills.  I stayed awhile longer to gain experience in that position and then I took that experience and I found myself another job!
  • Grace Pfeiffer
    Grace Pfeiffer
    To Kathleen: Do you really want to work for a company that does not value your experience?  I too am in my late 50's and can personally attest to how energizing it is for me that my extensive career experience is considered a real asset by my employer of one year.  I understand you may just need to get a job, but really hope you can find one where you will be appreciated for who you really are.  Best wishes, Grace
  • adrienne hall
    adrienne hall
    Good information for sure. I was just asked that very same question last week.I was not aware of your detailed query, but I responded with my professional educational backgroung and true enough the prospective employer stated that she would be revising the new work schedule and will contact me with a start date and schedule of my intended work hours. Thanks so much for sharing this timely and vital employment "hook".

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